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Nov. 3rd, 2011

sarsgaard happy

(no subject)

oh really

so yeah i'm alive minus a million friends, money, any kind of relationship....etc etc

but i'm here i suppose...

Apr. 4th, 2010

sarsgaard happy

i can't even believe i'm having to post this

FUCK what i said about that guy, he is fucking LARRY DAVID.

literally. we waited a week+ of dating to do it, which is rare for us both, but good, we both thought.

then. then. after it. he's criticizing this:

"you never looked at me. you were always looking at the ceiling"
"my eyes were CLOSED"
"i don't know, i just thought it would be more romantic"
"you wanted us to be staring into each others' eyes the entire time? cos that's weird, and i've never heard or encountered anyone who thought that wasn't weird."
"....i guess so, yeah"

-would not let me choose any songs in 4 hours
-said i could smoke ganj in his bathroom, then was pissy the whole time about it
-he is a fucking girl
-he is a fucking REPUBLICAN
-he keeps apologizing because apparently he's "not over his ex"

seriously? that old excuse? shit OFF

SERIOUSLY i am sick of guys treating me like shit in one way or another! i'm better than this and it's not worth it.

Mar. 21st, 2010

coco posessed

this post brought to you by:

Mila (of Project Runway) and her permanent bitchface.

Caturday i stayed up til 7 scanning things for my dad, books on Congo and stuff. THEN. THEN

i got motherfuckin' addicted to Nurse Jackie.



which is also fucking great.

in between:
noise concert at an all age place where i saw some ten year olds & Dapose from the Faint who i only know cos his girlfriend and i used to work together (& are friends/lived in the same apt. building), we shat on Hurt Locker for fifteen minutes, me & Dappy loved Antichrist for a few (Erinn hasn't seen!), being at a gay rodeo cowboy bar and seeing two old gay fat dudes shoving their tongues down each others' throats while i was watching House, "NOT MY PROBLEM!", half a pizza,

and now, some greenery goodness & Breaking Bad.

here's me:

& i end on an amazing picture from Nurse Jackie. bitch.

Feb. 22nd, 2010

sarsgaard happy

i'm late to the party, but...

...here are my favorite McQueen pieces:

the detail. holy SHIT.

this i plan planned to use in a modern adaptation of Red Riding Hood:

villains from a similar theme:

look at this fuckin' umbrella! (this was my favorite show of his, so creepy, so full of ideas and inspiration):

lastly, something simple but beautiful (on the amazing Olga Sherer):
sarsgaard happy

things i fuckin hate

- can't sleep. been trying for hours. trying to go to bed early like the psych. said. she was right, it takes ages.
- pissed. pissed at friends who are good for nothing, even just being there, pissed that they changed or moved or don't give a shit. pissed at the omaha scene, just drunk people trying to get laid & parties. which, individually, i don't hate, but when that's all there is, i hate it.
- can't drink due to antidepressants. like, not ONE drink, just NONE AT ALL. which means parties & drunk people instantly went from fun to obnoxious. not that i'm seeing either one anyhow.
- tomorrow i have to get up to "work" for my dad, go to a therapy appointment


i have become increasingly doubtful of my therapist. last week she told me to "take pictures of my cats" and i wanted to slap her and scream "THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY FUCKING MOTHER WOULD SAY".

i mean, pictures of cats? are you fucking kidding me?

here's a picture:

I tried to give Raquel Zimmerman (model/goddess in that photo) most of the frame but idk if it worked. yeah, i look like it's midnight, i'm not happy, and tired.

to wit, i feel like an old woman just waiting to die. everyday is just plodding along. i just want someone to talk to, and i don't know if that person exists, or just doesn't want to show themselves yet. I'm 22 but i feel like my life is already over & i'm going to be here, in this headspace, forever. I have no idea what to do.

Feb. 4th, 2010

sarsgaard happy

starting the 365 day project (about) a month too late

..but better late than never right? riiight???


my nails are nice but i think my face looks a bit lopsided, so...

at least i worked a bit today, and looked around on facebook, realizing how much my event invited had diminished. hope i didn't piss off someone influencial in the omaha danceparty district.

yesterday's: (Weds. Feb 3)

decided to wear makeup again. and put on clothes while still sitting around the house doing nothing.

i am bored. i do need a hobby, shit.

Jan. 5th, 2010

sarsgaard happy

noel fielding sexytimes?

ugh so just was woken up from a delicious dreamnightmare in which i was somehow hanging out with Noel Fielding (back in the city) & i kept having him drive me to work like 4 times in a ruse to take sweet, sweet advantage of him, but at the last minute he'd always be like "right, bye!" & drive off even though he was TOTALLY FLIRTING with me. idk, the scenery was disturbing and weird like in most dreams where i want to fuck someone, but his face/voice was so glorious & i felt like a schoolgirl. then when i'd "come home", apparently we'd been exchanging letters & i saw one that said "you need to come see me now!" in cute boosh-talk from him, but i switched it up with some letters & never saw it again...

and then my dad went "WE NEED TO TAKE A WALK. YOU NEED SOME PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.", waking me up



PS. i just realized i have the most boring journal layout that ever was. off to change that after a ciggie (DAMN YOU, LARAAAAA!!!)

Dec. 17th, 2009

sarsgaard happy

this is what i will be doing my entire christmas break


Jun. 26th, 2009

sarsgaard happy

Writer's Block: All-Nighter

When was the last time you stayed up all night? What were you doing?

last night. trying to sleep. fascinating!

Now playing: Joy Zipper - Dosed and Became Invisible
sarsgaard happy

(no subject)

i feel like i've been drifting & disconnected from society for a few bad days lately, and i'm just now getting over it. cleaning, washing all the scum off of roommates for a year. it's so much better living alone. everything looks better when i walk outside, there are so many trees...

here's quin & i having fun before he left for Costa Rica for 2 months

Now playing: Joy Zipper - 33X

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